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No Internet at My House

January 27, 2008

Hey everybody!  Our internet service was cut off two weeks ago, and I’ve missed you all, and your blogs so much!  I’m at a friend’s house now, so I won’t have time to answer all the kind comments and emails I’ve received, but my husband is confident that our service will be back up this week.  the technician told me that the worst case scenario was 3 more weeks down – but let’s be optimistic.  It’s been a strange couple of weeks for me, so if you don’t mind I’ll take this opportunity to rant a bit, and weight the bad against the good.  First, my illustration :


My sister-in-law died suddenly, but I’ve already written about that.  We lost internet…My life drawing class was cancelled suddenly ( I realise that this is far from tragic, but it was important to me, and the circumstances were very strange). My cat was poisoned, and it looked like we were going to lose him. He’s 12 and we’re pretty attached to him.  I found out the same week that someone very close to me had done something so extremely stupid that it will most certainly ruin the rest of his/her life.   Another someone whom I thought was my close friend seems to have decided to cut me out, just when I need a friend, and I have no idea why. Maybe I’m a terrible person and I don’t even know it. And a couple of other things I can’t talk about, plus the weather was gray for a long time.


My cat survived and seems pretty chipper, even though he’s been running around with a catheter still in his leg.  He even won a contest of wills with the neighbor’s (much younger) cat as we all watched and cheered. We had a great trip to London, where we saw our daughter and I even did a lot of sketches at the First Emperor’s terra cotta army exhibit at the British Museum. My life drawing teacher took pity on me and had me invited to her drawing coop – so now I get to do life drawing once a week (instead of twice a month) in a much better ambiance, and for a lot less money. I’ve decided that there’s not a thing I can do if my friend wants to think ill of me and not let me defend my self, so I’ll let it go. The sun came out.

There’s still nothing I can do to help the person who’s hurt him/herself irrevocably, but I can hope things will get a bit better, and be thankful that my nuclear family is doing so well – even if I feel a little guilty about that.

I guess the scales tip toward the better.

I apologize to anyone dealing with more serious problems for this little rant.  If you or someone you love is in a war zone, or ill, or dealing with money problems, my heart goes out to you.  My problems seem trivial compared to those of most of the world.

Thanks for listening and I hope to be back online soon!

20 Comments leave one →
  1. January 27, 2008 4:43 pm

    Oh, Casey, what an awful time you’ve had! Did someone poison Mittens or was it accidental??? I’m SO glad he is better now. Whew. Was it the cat from le V M who was vanquished? ;D.
    I’m so sorry about the person close to you who’s going down such a bad path. It really hurts to see someone you love do that, I know.
    And I’m especially sorry about your broken friendship. I know what a tender heart you have and how this must really be difficult for you. I have had a similar breach (not of my doing, but of hers) with a friend I’ve known since I was 17. It happened 8 years ago and I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. But there you are. We can’t control or account for others’ emotions and actions. Please don’t for one second doubt that you are a good person–you’re a WONDERFUL person and I’m so happy to count you as my friend. So there.
    And, waah, I want to see your recent sketches! I think I need to send David ( my presonal IT man ;D) over there to get you hooked up again.
    Hope all went well in London!
    Take care, my buddy, and get back in the cybersaddle asap!

  2. January 27, 2008 8:07 pm

    Hey Casey, I can´t imagine being without the internet for a few weeks. I would really have a hard time, but I guess I would get a lot of stuff done around the house.
    I don´t know what to say to you, except that I hope you´ll feel better soon and I know that you are a wonderful person.
    Did you actually ask your friend about her problem?

  3. January 27, 2008 9:12 pm

    Goodness, no internet would do me for starters! And then all the rest. You are definietely allowed to rant!! This is a wonderful painting. I guess you have to think of this time as more painting time because you can’t be on the internet 🙂

  4. January 28, 2008 12:02 am

    What on earth is going on with all our computer problems! I know of a number of people who are having computer problems lately. Me included.

    Anyway, I’ve missed your posts. I hope your friend (?) will soon realize her/his loss and make amends. Also, I’m so sorry about your cat’s ill health. I do hope the poisoning wasn’t intential … I am glad you are able to post and keep us updated, I’m thrilled about your life drawing once a week, how wonderful.

    Hope to see your sketches from you life drawing soon.

  5. January 28, 2008 1:28 am

    Ranting is usually helpful – just getting it off your chest. We all have problems and listening to someone else helps our own troubles to disappear temporarily. Like most other things, comparing the seriousness of our problems to another’s is like comparing apples and oranges.

    Sorry to hear about your sister in law. Glad to hear about your cat’s recovery. As for friends, these things happen and their not in our control and, difficult as it may be, it’s best to try and remember to not take it personally. We’re all little mysteries.

    Love the painting though. Hope you reconnect soon.

  6. January 28, 2008 2:06 am

    If you can’t rant here to your cyber pals, where can you rant? At least here we cheer you up and tell you things will certainly improve.

    You have had a lot on your plate, lately. But it seems you’re already looking at the brighter side of things and that can only mean more steps in that direction.

    It’s too bad about your friend. I’m in a similar situation. I don’teven get replies to my e-mails or phone messages and I’m worried that something has happened. Nothing else I or you can do at this point. Maybe our friends will get in touch later and explain we didn’t need to worry.

    Keep optimistic and give Mittens a gentle cuddle for me!



  7. January 28, 2008 2:25 am

    Oh Casy! I wish I could give you a big hug… I’m glad things seem to be getting better, and I’m looking forward to you being back (tho it’s probably not possible to be as glad as I imagine you will be). I’ve been working on a LiveType project (moveable type program for video) for work all week – 12 hour days, working the weekend, etc. I spent so much time looking at type moving around the screen that I am literally seeing it in my dreams. The point is, there is a moment when the type is coming onto the screen, and at first its fuzzy and looks awful, but then it gets clearer and clearer until suddenly it is in focus. I am thinking of this for you – that the next couple weeks will be like that – clearer and clearer into focus until suddenly it all snaps into place and things look clear and bright again. Better days are coming – juj

  8. January 28, 2008 2:26 am

    shit! I meant casEy, with an E! Guess it’s not quite all clear yet…lol

  9. January 28, 2008 11:37 am

    Casey you have been missed by so many…I guess that tips the scales well and truly into positive huh?
    Great painting, is this in the NEW sketchbook you made?
    Sending hugs your way. 😉

  10. January 28, 2008 1:55 pm

    You guys are the best! My wonderful friends gave me a key to their house so that I could come when no one is here and go online for a bit. I feel so good after all of your supportive words that I think I’m better off than before. Mittens had a blood test today and he’s getting back to normal. If only Michel would stop slipping him pieces of cheese….As for my friend, I don’t expect to hear anytime soon. That seems to be the way this person functions – yes I have asked for an explanation but I know I won’t get one. As we all know, the feelings we hold against others hurt us ourselves and no one else, so I’m letting go, chalking it up to a misunderstanding that I can’t clear up. Something is obviously broken, but that’s not my fault. It’s coming sort of clear, Judy! And Bonny, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re in a similar situation – it’s unavoidable with some people.
    Laura, it was indeed one of Gloria’s cats that Mittens swiped. She told me on the phone this morning that he’s been back in her yard acting like his typical mafia boss self.
    Thanks so much, all of you and grosses bises (big kisses) to you all.

  11. January 28, 2008 3:39 pm

    Nice to see you back online Casey – I bet you’ve got a stack of images backed up and waiting to be posted.

    The thing with your friend may be nothing to do with you. She might just be preoccupied with something else in her life. However, friends can also do some pretty odd things from time to time (I’ve been there and got the T shirt plus been the guilty party on occasion). I usually just wait and see what happens. If a person is a really good friend then s/he generally come back into your life and if they’re not then they don’t. If you’re still missing him/her in six months then you’ve got a pretty good idea which it will be.

  12. January 28, 2008 5:35 pm

    Good to hear from you and no, your issues may not be War in Iraq but they are not trivial and remember…we are all human and prey to human foibles.
    I had a friend who always did the cut off thing, but would then start to make contact again. Unfortunately she cut me off two years ago at Thanksgiving time, and would not return call or email or phone calls – nothing. Then guess what…she died. Not a totally unexpected death but very sad all the same. I took comfort in the fact that I continually tried to get in touch with her, left messages etc…and then finally gave up. It was sad, but it is the way some people chose to live their lives.

  13. January 28, 2008 5:46 pm

    Virtual hugs from me, Casey. It’s horrid when these kind of things happen – they really do rock your world. It’s good to keep perspective on things, sure, but not to deny your very real emotional response to any kind of grief and loss – whether that be the loss of a class or the death of someone you love.

    I’m very glad your cat recovered, and hope that things improve for you.

  14. sandy permalink
    January 28, 2008 6:47 pm

    Oh Casey I feel for you on so many levels, so much bad karma bouncing about – But it sounds like your good karma is winning out, and the January doldrums do not help – Keep the faith, things are turning your way with the cat and internet access , life class and your family strong and well – keep sketching and “this too shall pass”. So good to hear from you, we Miss YOU!!

  15. January 28, 2008 7:30 pm

    Casey, so sorry to hear that life is so difficult at the moment. I agree, if you can’t rant here, where can you? From my own experience, that ‘friend’ may never reveal her reasons but your heart is good and it really is her loss to throw away a friendship. Hope things look up for you very soon.

  16. January 29, 2008 12:26 pm

    No wonder you have not been able to post!! You have been shoveled under by all manner of circumstances!!
    Sorry to hear about your bad news. Your beloved cat’s come back is heartening. The friend thing….so sorry. It’s realyl bad when you can’t even talk. As Felicity said, “its her loss”. Perhaps loosing her as a friend will eventually make space for someone new.

    I love your sketches from the museum. I’m surprised they let you sketch. In special exhibits in the US, they barely even let you take notes…sketching is forbidden.

  17. January 29, 2008 2:50 pm

    I’m so relieved that Mittens is doing OK, I know how important he is to you… they become part of the family. I’m sorry that you’re going through a bad patch, fortunately things never stay the same and before you know it, things will look up again!

  18. aylinkanginnadhi permalink
    January 30, 2008 12:51 am

    i wish u all the good things in life

  19. January 31, 2008 12:33 am

    Much of what I was going to say has been said. I’ll just add that I miss you and I hope your computer/internet problems are conquered soon. Hugs and lots of prayers to you!!

  20. January 31, 2008 9:48 am

    You’ve already been given some great advice, Casey. I had missed you posting but had no idea that you were having such an awful time. Thank goodness, it sounds like you are well on your way back to sunny times.
    I don’t know why friends sometimes choose to punish their closest – it only happened to me once and I just waited until my friend worked her way through whatever it was and then it was back to normal. Sometimes doing nothing is the best action of all.
    Your paintings are lovely as usual and I can’t believe what wonderful images you captured of the warriors!

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